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By J.M.

Translated By Hartmut Lau

October 6, 2005

Original Article (German)    

California Loses its Edge

Florida is the new California. Today this opinion bursts onto the scene as if shot from a gun. Anyone can see why. California may have its Arnie, but once you get past him it's been a long time since the Golden State could show any world class amongst its quirks, ticks and trend setting fads. Hippies? Long forgotten. Garage entrepreneurs in silicone valley? Co-opted into the establishment years ago. New Age Nirvana? Now available anywhere. By contrast, let's look at the Sunshine State and its never-ending series of sensations.

If there hadn't been pregnant chads back during the [2000] election, then things would be a little different - and not only in the Middle East - but also in regard to anthrax powder, shark scares, Elian Gonzales, Gianni Versace and O.J. Simpson, who is atoning for his crime on Florida's golf courses.

Thus tourists should not be surprised when they are given a flyer upon arrival at the airport that urges them to be careful in dealings with the state's residents. The instructions for new arrivals include "Do not unnecessarily argue with people who live here," and "If anyone gives you the impression that he's mad at you, do your best to stay calm, don't yell, and don't make any threatening gestures." The reason for this good advice is a new law in which the state allows its citizens to use firearms or other deadly weapons in self defense - without considering other means first, such as running away, to avoid a misunderstanding. In other words, Florida has brought the rules of the Wild West back to life - "shoot first, talk later."

This rationale cannot, especially considering the Western intellectual tradition, be denied. As the intellect knows, before he can even think, a Floridian will shoot without considering his epitaph. Nevertheless, all this has led to controversy.

Shaped Like a Revolver?

A tourist might assume that the State of Florida is being considerate enough to instruct the eighty million clueless tourists that keep its tourism industry moving in high gear every year about the possible consequences of its new law. Wrong! The badly-timed warning shot comes from an organization that has been campaigning against the all-too-easy access to guns for years.

Jeb Bush is Not Amused

Thus, rather than call the new self defense law disgraceful, Florida Governor Jeb Bush criticized the distribution of these flyers, which only annoyed the poor tourists who had been traveling for hours to land there, a place called Paradise by its residents.

And in the spirit of heaven on earth, Florida is working on a new law, one which would impose serious fines on companies that forbade employees to stow weapons in cars parked on company property. Now the gun control advocates have marched all the way to the foreign press to give Florida's geographic outline a whole new meaning. Look here! Florida is a state shaped like a revolver.