The Nation, Pakistan

The Statue of Destruction

By DR A.H. KHAYAL

January 25, 2007

Pakistan - The Nation - Original Article (English)

President Bush has warned Iran and Syria to stop interfering in Lebanon’s affairs. Iran and Syria must know that interfering in other countries’ affairs is Bush’s exclusive prerogative. The Iran-Syria interference is a personal insult to Bush. If so far Bush has not avenged the insult by invading the interfering countries, it is all because of Bush’s generosity. But the interferers must not forget that Bush’s stock of generosity is not inexhaustible. Any moment could be the moment at which the generosity is exhausted.

According to Bush, there are two brands of weapons of mass destruction. There are weapons which are there specifically for destruction purposes and there are weapons which are there just for fun.

Bush firmly believed that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction which were meant purely for destruction. Thus Saddam was a terrorist. And being a terrorist, he was condignly butchered. Israel also has huge stocks of weapons of mass destruction. But Bush believes that these weapons are there purely for fun. Thus Israel is not a terrorist state.

Bush alleges that Iran is clandestinely manufacturing atomic weapons with the sole objective of destroying America. Thus Iran is a terrorist state. If Bush were to destroy Iran with his own atomic weapons, it would not be an act of terrorism. It would be all pure fun.

When America dropped atomic bombs over Hiroshima and Nagasaki, they were not dropped for destruction. They were dropped just for fun. Thus America could not be dubbed a terrorist state. According to Bush, a terrorist state is a state which is declared as such by him. But there are degrees of terrorism. As various earthquakes have various intensities, so various terrorist states have various degrees of terrorism.

The intensity of a particular earthquake is determined by the Richter scale. Inspired by Richter, Bush has invented a scale of his own for determining the degree of terrorism of a particular state. The scale may be called the Bushian scale. Bush punishes a terrorist state according to the degree of terrorism that his scale records for that state.

Bush loves soldiers. But he hates being a soldier himself. He loves the American soldiers who die in the battlefield for the country’s glory. But he hates himself to be a battlefield martyr for the country’s glory. He loves to die in his bed for the country’s sake.

Bush does not like Abraham Lincoln because Lincoln abolished slavery. Bush wants to enslave every country. He apprehends that every free country is a danger for America. In order to ensure America’s survival, Iran and North Korea must be crippled, handcuffed and imprisoned.

Bush is born with a passion for music. For years, his military orchestras have been regularly performing in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Iraqis and the Afghanis are being entertained to the music of the booming guns, the shrieking bombers and the screaming missiles. Even the animals and birds of these regions have become used to the Bushian music.

Bush is a religious man. He loves Christ. But he does not like Christ’s teachings. Christ, in his Sermon on the Mount, says “If someone hits one of your cheeks, offer him your other cheek as well.” As against the Sermon, Bush believes if anybody has done no harm to you, you must kill him unceremoniously. Innumerable innocent men, women and children are killed by Bush’s bombs in Afghanistan and Iraq just because they had done no harm to Bush. The innocent men, women and children who are still alive in Iraq and Afghanistan must be apprehending that they could be blown out of the world any moment by American bombs.

Bush’s tenure is about to expire. It is a good omen for the world peace. There have been tremendous anti-Bush demonstrations up and down the globe. Perhaps no other American president was able to inspire such demonstrations against himself. Bush’s talent for inciting international hatred against an American president must be appreciated by his compatriots. He deserves a superbly special prize for his performance. His statue might be installed where once Saddam’s statue stood. The caption should read: “The Statue of the Middle East’s Slavery.” What the Statue of Liberty would think about the new statue is anybody’s guess.